


and just like a folk song (our love will be passed on)

by Anonymous



Category: HIStory3 - 圈套 | HIStory3: Trapped (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff without Plot, Hurt/Comfort, Jack centric, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:47:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25840855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Jack gets a bit too much in his head at times. Thankfully, Zhao Zi is always there to take care of him.
Relationships: Jack | Fang Liangdian & Zhao Li'an | Zhao-zi, Jack | Fang Liangdian/Zhao Li'an | Zhao-zi
Comments: 5
Kudos: 147
Collections: Anonymous, Hurt/Comfort, Zhao Zi x Jack





	and just like a folk song (our love will be passed on)

**Author's Note:**

> there is not enough soft jack content??? he seems to be taking care of everyone in all the fics that he's mentioned in so i thought i'd try and reverse it? so no plot just jack being taken care of because it is exactly what he deserves! also self depreciating thoughts and mention of murders? so please be careful if that kind of stuff may trigger you!  
> (title from seven by taylor swift!)

Jack cannot pinpoint the exact moment his thoughts had started to spiral. Maybe it was when he bumped into one of his old contacts from his mercenary days while grocery shopping this evening, his face bringing back all the memories of all that he had done to survive. Or when he had somehow managed to stumble over a crime show while flipping channels waiting for Zhao Zi to come home, maybe it was the murder victim's face zoomed in on the large TV screen that reminded of how many corpses he had seen up close, people that he had _killed_.

Or maybe it was finally when he had seen a picture of Zhao Zi and Grandma in their living room after dinner as Zhao Zi organized his work files upstairs, their grins wide as Zhao Zi leaned towards her, their hands clasped together. Next yo ot was a picture of him and Zhao Zi from the picnic date they had been to to celebrate their one month anniversary, and he suddenly felt like he couldn't _breathe_. He feels his legs give out and he sits there, in the middle of their living room feeling lost. He had killed and maimed and yet he had someone like Zhao Zi to come home to, someone who loved him despite it all and Jack felt like he did not deserve it.

One thought leads to another and he cannot help but recall all the crimes he had committed. His hands were stained red, would always be and he _touched_ Zhao Zi with these hands. And _no_ , Shorty deserved better. He finds himself thinking about his lover, _so_ good, too good for this world and yet he was stuck with someone like him, someone who had killed for money, someone whose past was too heavy to be left behind. He would always be this, the Jack who killed and tricked.

He does not know how long he sits there but when Zhao Zi comes down the stairs calling his name, he cannot will himself to move. He feels exhausted and he cannot do anything except stare at his boyfriend from where he is seated. Zhao Zi must have seen something on his face for he is immediately at his side, wrapping an arm around Jack and as much as his mind is screaming at him to jerk away, to not taint Zhao Zi with his bloodied hands, he cannot help but melt into his side. Here was Jack, being selfish again, taking and taking like he always did.

"You're crying, baby. What's wrong?" Zhao Zi whispers inches away from his face.

Oh. He does not remember at what point he had started to cry nor did he realize that he was crying at all. He brings a hand upto his cheeks and surely he feels a wetness there. Zhao Zi is still looking at him worriedly and Jack can further feel like heart _break_. He does not like the thought that he put that frown there and yet he cannot help but simply gaze back.

"Let's get you upstairs. Will that be okay?" Zhao Zi softly mutters against him. It takes him some time to register his words but as soon as he does, he nods hesitantly. Zhao Zi gently helps him stand and guides him upstairs with a hand on his back and an arm around his shoulder.

Once upstairs, Zhao Zi seats them on the bed and clasps his hand around Jack's. Jack doesn't know how long he stares at how they just fit, maybe even when they aren't supposed to.

"I am going to draw you a bath. Will you be okay by yourself for a bit? You would like a bath, wouldn't you?" Zhao Zi asks.

"Will you wash my hair for me then?" Jack's voice comes out hoarse.

"Of course." Zhao Zi smiles at him. He squeezes Jack's hand one last time, then slips his hand out and heads towards the bathroom.

Zhao Zi's nimble fingers in his hair helped in grounding him a bit, he can feel the weight on his chest lifting up bit by bit. Zhao Zi ends up washing his body too as Jack grows pliant under his hands.

Once done with the bath, Zhao Zi dresses him in a soft cotton shirt and a pair of shorts and gently dries his hair with the help of a towel. Jack cannot help but sit there with his eyes shut as Zhao Zi's careful hands move him around. His mind is starting to clear up by now and the only coherent thought he can form at this point is how _loved_ he feels.

Zhao Zi helps lay Jack down on their bed and wraps an arm around his shoulders as he lies down next to him too.

"Would you like to tell me what happened now, baby?" Zhao Zi looks down at him and Jack pauses for a few seconds to organize his thoughts.

"I...don't know, honestly. One minute I was standing in the shopping aisle where I bumped into an old colleague and the next I was on my knees in the middle of our living room. I felt so heavy. I felt like with all the wrong I had done in the past, it wouldn't be fair to still have someone like you...or worse that someday I was going to make it worse for you too when my past comes to haunt me eventually, _taint_ you with all of my crimes too." He pauses and wills himself to tell his lover exactly how he felt in that moment, he takes a deep breath and whispers the last part, voice so small that Zhao Zi would have missed it if he hadn't been listening so attentively, "I felt like I did not deserve you."

Zhao Zi drew a sharp breath, his arm around Jack's shoulder stiffening for a second before going limp again.

"Jack, I want you to look at me, can you do that, baby?" Zhao Zi whispers back. At that, Jack looks up.

"All that you did in the past is in the past...I know you feel like it isn't, that someday it is going to come back to you but it won't, and if it does, we will face it together like _families_ do. All that you did, you did to survive, none of us hold any of it against you, not me or any of our friends. The thought of the life you lead is scary to me at times, not because I am disgusted or scared of you like your mind tells you sometimes, but because of how far you pushed yourself simply because you wanted to _survive_."

Jack can hear his voice getting heavier by each word he utters but Zhao Zi still continues, "You often tell me about how different I am, how you've never met someone like me before but you are different than anyone I have ever met too. You take care of me like no one ever did, from my meals to the smallest things that bother me, you take care of me. You make me feel like I _belong_ , you make me feel _loved_ like Grandma made me feel loved, like _families_ make each other feel loved and taken care of. You left everything you've ever known behind for me that night all those months ago and moved in here, made this house feel like home again. I want nothing more than to take care of you too, to make you feel like home too."

Zhao Zi's tears are free flowing now, Jack can feel tears flowing down his cheeks too. Immediately, he feels a hand on his cheek wiping away his tears as Zhao Zi takes a deep breath and continues to speak.

"I know all of this might be difficult for you to process at this moment when your mind is still cloudy by all those ugly things you told yourself. But can I ask you of this one thing? As you fall asleep tonight, I want the last thought on your mind to be about how much I love you and how I am not going anywhere without you. I am here today, tomorrow and always. There's no other place I'd rather be." Zhao Zi whispers still holding Jack's cheek and Jack finds himself nod as he further snuggles into his side, closing his eyes.

The feel of Shorty's arms around him, the soft mattress, the kiss he feels on his forehead when he begins to feel drowsy all making him feel like he did belong after all. He was home.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! let me know what you thought of it in the comments maybe?


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